The Mako Crown Affair

05:56 pm: Sudden Departures
Well Dear Readers, this has been a very curious time.
Pagan and L.C. have both shuffled off this mortal coil, within weeks of each other. I would not have been sad to see them leave the HOUSE, but I had no wish for them to leave this plane of existence. And the Giant has been touring around India, returning only recently, smelling of cow and desert gerbil. I shudder to think what the summer will bring...

Tags: l.c., pagan

09:25 pm: Good Help Is Hard To Find
Dear Readers,

The past two months have been an unspeakable mix of anxiety and torment. The Giant persisted and yet persists in attending to the needs of the Objectionable Tabby and the Invader Cats at the expense of my needs.

I am very cross about this.

I'm tired of hearing about 'Poor Pagan' this and Lucky Catt that. Why should they jeopardize so much of the Giant's time? I've given many rejoinders about the situation, both vocal and physical, to no avail.

Harrumph!

Tags: cross, objectionable tabby

07:50 am: A Snowy Saturday Report
Hello Dear Readers,

The titan feline invaders are still here - it seems they are going to be long term guests. I devised a way to slip between the gate and the wall that divides our sector, and spent many hours observing them. For the largest part, they prefer to sleep, occasionally clamoring for food. They have little interest in getting the mousie or playing soccer, which is dispiriting, as I’d hoped to have some opponents in the latter other than the Giant. Last night she (finally) deduced how I was gaining access to the Middle Sector and blocked that avenue - for now.

I have the feeling that this was precipitated by a raid L.C. and I undertook on the kitchen cabinet that contains catnip. I had indicated to him that it was stored in the one above the dishwasher. In seconds, he was on the counter, (which is verboten here) and nosed open the door. He swatted the packet to the floor, and after we chewed through the plastic, we were enjoying a catnip treat. Yes, yes, the floor was covered in particles of the stuff, but I hear we are to receive a robot to attend to such matters soon.

Chloe has remained in full Objectionable Tabby mode throughout the past week. The Giant has allowed the titan ones to roam her sector when meals are not being served, and she is not well-pleased by this development.

Tags: o.t., titans

05:31 pm: The Invasion
Hello Dear Readers,
Once again, we have received a shipment of other people's cats. L.C. and Pagan arrived yesterday, and were let loose into the newly established Middle Sector. I happened to he lurking in that area when they were released from their portable cells, and was the recipient of many hisses from L.C. I forgave him on the grounds that travel is very unpleasant, especially when the feline next to you has been prodigiously carsick. I understand that L.C. and Chloe watched some television with the Giant last night. Better that he have to deal with the Objectionable Tabby than I!

Tags: objectionable tabby, pagan

06:45 pm: Rude Bonk
Hello Dear Readers,

On Friday The Giant did not leave for work before dawn, but that did not concern me so much as she had spent several days home sick during the week. However, when I was once again confined to the computer room, I knew something was afoot. There was a brief period of thumping and stomping, then silence. Much later in the day, I was released and decided to run into the bedroom and take shelter under the bed to sort things out. My attempt was met with a rude discovery - there is no more under the bed. The bed is now solid from mattress to floor. How inconsiderate! How thoughtless! How beyond the pale - in other words, how very human.

Harrumph!

Tags: pottery barn, rude

07:46 pm: The Walls Come Tumbling Down
Hello Dear Readers,
The Giant is at it again. That is, she has contracted others to commence all sorts of demolition, this time on the inside of the house. The wooden covering of an entire wall was peeled off today. And the titans responsible for the work are said to be returning on the morrow! I fear for my nerves - as well as our dwelling...

Tags: demolition

12:21 pm: The Indginity
Hello Dear Readers,
I am writing this from the computer room (natch) but I am in the computer room as a captive, not as a willing feline. This morning, I was feeling unwell in a digestive sense. I realized I must have developed a hairball and realized that it was going to make an egress from my system. Normally the Giant is very sympathetic when I am unwell, but today, when I ran into the bedroom to regurgitate the offensive matter, she was not. She was ranting and raving about how only two rooms in the house have carpet, and only one of them is white, and why did I choose to be sick here as opposed to anywhere else. And then, I was closed up in this room, with nothing more than food, water, a bed and my litter-convenience. And of course, this computer and Internet connection. But other than that, what have the Romans ever done for me?

Tags: regurgitation, white carpet

09:32 am: Whither thou?
The Giant made all sorts of preparations before leaving our home early this morning, leading me to believe that she would be out for most of the day. However, not two hours later, she was back, with a pointy-haired, even taller giant in tow. He looked vaguely familiar, and not quite as terrifying as the other giants who occasionally come and go, but I must wonder as to the plans of mice and men. Particularly men. Am I to be allowed to nap in peace? Will they depart again for parts unknown, or linger about the place? Chloe, of course, had to be fed upon their arrival. Maybe that will keep the yowling down.

03:16 pm: Technicolor Nightmare Coat
Hello Dear Readers,

I must make this a brief posting, as I have urgent matters to attend. The Giant, as I have noted prior, is not satisfied with the interior of our dwelling. This weekend she set out to turn the walls of her bedroom a different shade of blue. Which is fine, except she did not explicitly warn me of this. Which is why parts of my normally dapper coat are a light shade of blue. To worsen matters, the Giant seems to think I need assistance in removing the paint. I will NOT be bathed by others.

Tags: annoyance, paint

09:51 am: A Tri-Nations Upset
Hello Dear Readers,
It has been a most eventful day or so. The Giant left for work on Friday morning, as usual, but did not return home until Saturday afternoon. I learned that she had been hanging about in disreputable Aussie ex-pat bars, watching Tri-Nations Rugby in the small hours of the morning. (Come to think of it, is there any other type of Aussie ex-pat bar? And wouldn't The Sin Bin be a most appropriate name for one?). And the Springboks were not even playing - she had gone to see the Wallabies and the Kiwis have at it.
I am not unreasonable - if the Giant wishes to spend her disposable income and time on such things she may - but this inconvenienced me. At some point on Friday, the voile curtains that filter the light into the computer room, fell down. And fell such that I could not access my food or water. And I think we all know how responsive the Objectionable Tabby was to my requests to share some of her repast...

Tags: sin bin, tri-nations

09:28 pm: Enough With The Pyrotechnics
Hello Dear Readers,

It is our nation's natal day, an occasion well worth celebrating. However, I do not see the need for so much noise. For about a week, there have been intermittent popping and blasting noises coming from all sides of the house. Today, the noise has gone from intermittent to constant. And it is raining. What is the point of setting off these fireworks when no one can even see them?

Harrumph.

Tags: natal day

08:30 pm: Odocoileus virginianus
Greetings Dear Readers,

I have exciting news to impart - I encountered a new creature from my window perch. I was sitting on the Giant's dresser, which affords a fine view of the side yard. Two days ago, the panes of glass were fully blocked by tawny colored fur. Yes, you deduce correctly, I was visited by a fine specimen of Odocoileus virginianus. The female of the species grazed on the thistles and stickerbushes that crop up on that side of the property. It was thrilling to see this creature that everyone speaks of, but that I never had a chance to see.

Tags: odocoileus virginianus, stickerbush

08:01 pm: After the Delay
Dear Readers,
I apologize for the two month gap in posting. Rather than reporting that there was nothing worth reporting, I must admit that I was under the bed for a large part of the time. You see, the Giant was disappointed with the performance of the house that surrounds us, and she paid some tradesmen to come remedy the flaws. At one point all the windows were removed and replaced, at another the sides of the house so treated.

The noise was beyond belief. The thumping and banging and clanging and assorted other parts of cacophany would have driven a lesser person to delirium. And the so called music that the rude mechanicals chose to blast did not help matters.

Such disturbances seem to have been curbed for the moment, so I can be a better conveyor of feline about the house matters. Such as the growing irritability of the Objectionable Tabby. She is stepping over the line of Objectionable and heading directly for truculent.

11:41 pm: Guest Entry
While I was recovering from the indignity of having to deal with lesser Giant service, I have been made aware of the troubles of another fine feline. Her name is Bert, Queen of the Ottoman, and here is her recounting of her day -

Oh Hai ASPCAs help me! Yesterdyas teh horridable ladee put me in a
bocks and drove me in teh car with teh fayrats and a man stabbded me
with needlees adn shined thingz in mai eyez and squishded me and luked
at mai teef and earz then thay shovded me back in the bocks and thay let
teh fayrats run around and teez me...thay sayz hes doctur i not beleev
that. wut? yes thay feedez me, um yes thay lets me sleep in bed- but Iz
only getting small part of big bed thay sleepz there 2. What u meanz
cud be worse- u not understanding thai stabbded me with needlees and
letz fayrats luk at me in my bocks

The prose style is rather unlike my own, but the emotion is readily available for all to grasp.

Tags: bert, lolcats

11:38 pm: Globetrotters
Well, dear readers, I was right. The Giant left for Mexico City (D.F. for those in the know) this afternoon. I do not undervalue the service that the substitute Giants give, but it is not the same as having one's regular help around.

Harrumph!

Tags: d.f.

11:31 pm: Alone Again...Except For O.T.
Hello Dear Readers,

The Giant had a burst of activity yesterday morning, boxing up L.C. and Pagan (separately, mind you) and gathering all their belongings up before leaving the house at 6 a.m. She did not return until afternoon today. I admonished her for such behavior, but she just kept on tearing the house apart and packing things into suitcases. I fear we will have a more than one night lack of human service...

Tags: l.c., pagan

11:18 am: At The Rodeo With L.C.
Hello Again Dear Readers,
Well, it is almost a week since L.C. came into my sector. He is a very laid-back fellow, which is comforting given his titanic stature. Upon first hearing his name, I assumed he was called Elsie, as his coat is patterned very much like the Elmer's Glue mascot. However, he informed me that it is indeed initials, standing for Lucky Catt.
There have been a series of workmen tromping around the abode, the Giant recently laid out several of the swathes of fabric she calls 'saris', and there is a guide to a part of Mexico City called Polanco on the nightstand. I predict disruption of my nice routine here in Hub City. Further updates as events warrant...

Tags: l.c.

02:28 pm: Wonders Never Cease
Well Dear Readers, the universe has yet again topped itself. As I mentioned before, Alexei, the cat who accompanied Pagan to our residence, died in February. Pagan missed his companion and was slightly more tolerant of my presence. The Giant would allow us to socialize for small periods of time, scooping me up whenever things got out of hand. I do believe progress was being made...

This morning however, a new wrinkle appeared. Not so much a wrinkle, but another feline! Yes, and just to show that the Universe will not be upstaged, this new arrival is bigger than Pagan. Pagan, now that I look at him in light of the new, is just fat. His head and paws are those of a smaller beast. L.C. on the other hand is enormous in all aspects. He even has extra toes, to make his paws all the more gargantuan. He and Pagan were sparring in the Middle Sector, which displeased the Giant. She called then 'ninnies' and made reference to their having been housemates earlier on in life. As they carried on in their warring behavior, she decided to separate them by placing the larger one in MY sector.

We shall see if this titan is an agreeable companion or not.

Tags: l.c., pagan, titans

08:31 pm: Apologies For The Interruption
Dear Readers, I have returned. I apologize for the long delay in posts, but I am dependent on the Giant for my access. And she was excessively busy (some might say neglectful) through the Christmas season. After the Christmas season had passed and Ordinary Time began, the aforementioned Alexei began to feel poorly. While I did not find him personally agreeable, I am sad to report that he died on February 23rd.

I admit, I am loathe to socialize with the Charcoal Menace that is called Pagan. He chirps pleasantly enough, but he is so...massive. I fear I might be caught in his gravitational pull, eventually being absorbed into some kind of feline singularity. When offered time with him, I get close enough to feel the tractor-beam like pull of his mass, then I go under the bed. A person knows where they are when they are under the bed.

Tags: alex and pagan

07:54 pm: Teatime for Alexei
Hello Dear Readers,

Well, the feline scourges are here to stay, it seems. The constant chirping and yowling about food have become ambient noise that I disregard as similarly as the furnace's wheezing. Not that it is wheezing enough, mind you - my sector is cold!

Alexei has a habit of rushing the barricades whenever the Giant is transiting them. Today, he rushed the gate as she was coming to help me compose this entry and earned a cup of tea split all over his coat for his trouble. I was not happy at her inconvenience, but I was happy to see him have to work so hard to get his coat white again.

As to the commenter who suggested that yet ANOTHER cat be added to this household, I say (and I quote Marcel Marceau in 'Silent Movie'):
No.

Tags: alexei, mimes